I felt that young men no longer knew what it meant to be a man. I personally struggled to find this meaning, but after gaining a better understanding, I decided to create a personal development group for men called Les Hommes Élevés. This project means a lot to me because I struggled with depression after a tough breakup at the end of last year. I wanted to share what I learned from that experience and others to help people navigate their lives better. On June 22nd, we met at La Combe à la Serpent for our second monthly meeting. Unfortunately, the weather was not in our favor, so we decided to continue our meeting at my place.

A Humanistic Approach

“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good! When I have been listened to and heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on.” — Carl Rogers

I began our meeting by explaining Carl Rogers’ concept of the client-centered therapy and the self. In our group, I encourage authenticity, empathy, and nonjudgmental attitudes to create a safe space for everyone to open up. We assessed how congruent our lives were. When we self-actualize, our perceived self, ideal self, and actual self become one, allowing us to give our best gifts to the world.

Defining the Ideal Self

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will lead you there.”

Next, we discussed the importance of defining our mission. Many people live on autopilot, ignoring their dreams. I want everyone to tap into their souls and align their actions with their ideals. Writing a mission statement, a heartfelt 5 to 10-line paragraph, helps define your destination. Visualize your dream life and write it down!

Removing the Roadblocks

“You don’t eliminate a bad habit, you replace it with a good one.” — James Clear

In our fast-paced modern world, we often fall into traps that prevent us from being our best selves. Despite being highly connected via the Internet, genuine human connections are dwindling. Any behavior that hinders your progress toward your goals is an addiction. We have 1,440 minutes in a day. How are you using them to manifest your dream life?

We discussed various addictive behaviors, such as substance use, porn, and social media, especially short videos engineered to give you dopamine hits after dopamine hits. I personally struggled with a porn addiction for many years. After quitting, I gained incredible mental clarity and creativity. Recognizing and replacing unhealthy habits with positive ones helps us bring heaven to this world.

Tracking Our Goals

“It’s only when your identity is transformed that you begin to see lasting changes.” — James Clear

During our first meeting, we defined goals to focus on until the next session. This is becoming a routine for us. We use S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound). For example, I committed to writing 10 pages of my upcoming book per week for the next 30 days. Studies suggest it takes 21 to 66 days to form a new habit, but I prefer a simpler 30-day timeframe. If a goal aligns with your true self, it becomes part of your identity and routine.

Stronger Together

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” — George Bernard Shaw

Our group plays a vital role in holding each other accountable. I was proud to hear that everyone accomplished their goals. I aim for this group to grow and help more motivated men, as this is how we change the world. Helping others fills my heart, making it my mission to share my knowledge. Before concluding, I asked the men to rate the clarity, flow, and empathy of my speech, as constructive criticism is crucial for my self-improvement.

I am grateful for this day and delighted to see everyone growing together. If this resonates with you or someone you know, feel free to join or share the word. Our next meeting will take place on July 13th. May God bring you all your soul wants.

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About the Author

Joffrey Degueurce

Joffrey Degueurce

JD. French road and track cyclist for EuroCyclingTrips - CMI Pro Cycling and Giant Dijon Track Team. Bike fitter. Vegan athlete.

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